


Coursing Through My Veins

by QueenBookBuff



Series: High on Summer [7]
Category: That '70s Show
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Car Accidents, F/M, Hurt, Love Confessions, Need, Out of Character, The Summer Things Changed, Understanding how much I need you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28063314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenBookBuff/pseuds/QueenBookBuff
Summary: Hyde comes face to face with his own personal hell..... the possible loss of Jackie. When Jackie is in an accident, Hyde comes face to face with the reality of his addiction.
Relationships: Eric Forman/Steven Hyde, Jackie Burkhart/Steven Hyde
Series: High on Summer [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1978360
Comments: 9
Kudos: 31





	Coursing Through My Veins

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first piece in awhile that makes me feel like I am getting my swing back. There are a few phrases and parts I'm pretty proud of. I loved writing this part. I am naturally dramatic, so bear with me if that is not your thing :)
> 
> I know parts of this are completely out of Hyde's character but I just don't care. In my universe he is nowhere the hard ass he pretends to be.
> 
> Also Once Upon A Time, there was a girl who was similar to Jackie in many ways, and a boy who was Hyde in almost all the ways. That girl once was in the hospital and her Hyde never left her side, and well...... we write what we know.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I’m in a foul mood, and I one hundred percent blame Forman. It’s been just over a week since he found out about Jackie and I, and to say things are tense between us would be a gross understatement. If he is the basement, I walk back out or go to my room. I don’t have any interest in talking to him. The only thing I am going to tell him is to fuck off, and I figure that is probably not productive. On top of Forman being a giant ass, now Jackie is being weird about coming to the basement. She is mortified we were caught having sex, and I in a moment of complete stupidity told her how Eric reacted when I talked to him. Now she is convinced Eric actually hates her, and doesn’t want to come “where she isn’t welcome.” All this bullshit has cut into my time with Jackie significantly, and it has made me less than pleasant to be around. So here I am, not with Jackie, for sure not getting my usual taste of her glorious skin, and getting angrier by the second because our normal schedule of being together all the time is about to come to a screeching halt. I suppose I should get use to reduced time with her, because when school starts and the “ditch twins” get back from California, our time alone will pretty much vanish.

I sigh heavily. I just want Jackie. I want to be with her, I want to kiss her, and if I am being blunt I want to have tremendous amounts of sex with her. I maintain she must be some type of witch, because never has a girl had me so tangled up. I keep waiting for my desire for her to level out, but it keeps spiking. As long as it's only me, the driveway, and the basketball hoop, I can be honest and say it's long past simply being sex. As girly as it sounds to me, we’ve crossed over to something else. I am actually starting to understand the idea of making love, because when I’m with Jackie it’s more than just physical release. It does something to me. I feel like I am giving some part of myself to her, and that is not something I ever thought possible.

I’m out here in the dead heat shooting hoops by myself in an attempt to avoid Forman while waiting for Jackie to make an appearance. I convinced her to come over, hang out for a little bit, and when the air starts to cool we would go for a drive in the Camino. At this point, I just want to be in the same space as her. I want to hold, touch, smell and be surrounded by her. I need the Jackie effect. I glance at my watch, and realize she is 20 minutes late. I feel a tiny bit of unease starting to settle in my stomach. Jackie is never late. Never. She is obsessive about time, to the point that you can set your watch by her. I hear the phone ring in the kitchen, and Forman pick it up. I absently wonder if that is her on the phone when Forman comes rushing out,

“Get in the car now Hyde”

I feel my body stop with cold dread. Forman’s eyes are panicked and I recognize something else. I identify red hot fear.

“What is it Forman?” I snap back

I watch him swallow visibly, and he stutters his response “It’s Jackie, there has been an accident.”

As soon as I hear Jackie, everything else stops, and my whole life flashes in front of my fucking eyes. A quick montage where Jackie is absent, and I want to be violently ill. I run to the Cruiser where Eric is waiting to drive me to a hurt Jackie. A Jackie, I can’t protect.

* * *

Once when Mrs. Forman actually got me to go to church, Pastor Dave did a sermon on hell. I’ve never forgotten it. He talked about how hell wasn’t the fiery pool of lava you swim in for eternity, instead hell was personal. No one’s hell is the same, because we all have demons to fight and overcome. Well, consider me a convert. I’m ready to preach it on the streets and yell Amen.

This is my hell. This terrible fucking anesthetic smelling hallway with a chair designed for nothing but torture. My torture is no one telling us a damn thing. My sins are being paid out in the minutes, ticking endlessly as I wait for Mrs. Forman to give me some type of information. I don’t know anything other than her car got T-boned, and she was unconscious when she came into the ER. Leaving me to picture the worst, leaving me to contemplate what hell on earth actually means.

Forman is sitting next to me, practically jumping out of his skin. He keeps glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, like he is trying to get up the nerve to say something. I am far from being in the mood for his twitchy bullshit. I need an outlet for my fear and frustrations, and I’m thinking that Eric is an excellent target. It doesn't matter to me one bit what I’m about to say is uncalled for, I’m worried out of my God Damn mind, and I’m blaming him. If she wasn’t so stressed about coming to the basement, she would have been there hours before, therefore not getting nailed in a car accident.

“I guess you got your fondest wish, Forman.” I spit out. I can see he is confused by my comment. His eyes scan me. I know he is trying to get a read on what the hell I’m talking about.

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asks quietly. I hear the tinges of hurt, and that is gasoline on my unreasonable fire.

“Don’t play stupid with me. She’s the Devil. You hate her. Haven’t you been wishing her away since we first fucking met her? Well here you go… she’s hurt. Bet your fucking ecstatic.” I growl.

The minuscule part of me that is still reasonable is telling me to shut the hell up. I am falling apart, and that is drowning out the inaudible voice of sanity in a tidal wave of fear. I watch his face morph from hurt to really pissed off.

“Are you suggesting that I’m happy Jackie is hurt? Is that what you think of me? Because if so, you can go Fuck Yourself Hyde.”

His tone is grim and chilly, and his normally friendly eyes are green stone. He looks like he wants to take a swing at me, and that’s what I want. I want a target for my terror. If he tries to hit me, then I can pummel his ass into the ground.

“It’s exactly what I think.” I snap back.

I’ve known Forman for a long time. No one knows or can read him better than I can, not even Donna. I recognize his desire to fight with me, the hurt, and the simple pissed off at my behavior. I also distinguish the part of him that I’ve counted on my whole life, the part of him that knows me just as well as I know him. I observe him call on every bit of patience he has, and the life long knowledge that I don’t respond well when I’m upset. I watch him close his anger down, but his voice is sharp when he replies.

“You are being a complete and total dick, but I’m not fighting with you. I know you are losing your shit worried. I know somewhere under your natural asshole tendencies you know that I would never want anything bad to happen to Jackie. Knock it off Hyde, you will only regret it later.”

I want to snarl at him. I don’t want to hear his self-righteous bullshit, but I never get a chance. I hear my name called by one of the three people in the world who elicits a soft response from me.

“Steven, Honey, I have news.”

My eyes jump to Mrs. Forman standing in front of me, in her nursing uniform. Her face is strained, and my lungs goes numb. I pop up instantly. I can’t breathe. Somewhere in my panic, I detect Forman next to me, his hand on my shoulder. In the deep recesses of my mind, I can recognize I was a total dick. That will have to wait until later, because my brain is frozen around five words. “Please let her be okay”

My voice is hoarse when I ask, “Is she okay?”

Mrs. Forman gives me a soft smile, and says,

“Why don’t you come and see her? She’s bruised up, has a concussion but otherwise she is going to be fine. Steven, she’s a little out of it between the concussion, the pain meds, and the disorientation from the accident. Don’t be shocked if she’s loopy or asleep.”

I simply nod and follow her down the hall. I stopped being able to think or form words after hearing she was fine. Mrs. Forman leads me into a room hushed by shadows. I must look confused because Mrs. Forman explains straight away,

“The lights and loud noises are going to bother her for a while. The concussion will make her sensitive to light and sound.”

I merely nod, and step further into the room. My eyes fall on my broken doll. Her delicate skin is stained with ugly purple marks. Her face is stressed with pain and shadows of forming bruises that dot her face. I walk quietly to the chair by her bed, and drop into it as softly as I can. I listen to the rhythm of her breathing, as a calming agent for my panic. She looks so tiny, laying there, bruised and battered. I don’t want this memory of Jackie. It is the harsh reality that bad things could happen to her

I pick her hand up in mine. I don’t why but I let out a huge sigh of relief at the warmth radiating from it. In this unguarded moment, with her far away and me alone in the room with her, I can’t help but study how our hands look together. My hand swallows her petite one, yet they fit perfectly. I’ve kissed every inch of this woman’s body, but I find myself blushing, raising her hand to kiss her hand softly. As soon as her skin touches my lips something swirls inside of me. It’s not desire, it’s nothing but wanting to feel life in her skin. I flip her hand over, and kiss the inside of her wrist. Merely the lightest of touch, but I’m desperate to feel her pulse. I want… no, I need to experience physical proof her heart is still beating.

I reach out and stroke her raven locks. I let my fingers fall down her face. She leans into my touch. My heart slams hard against my chest. Is she waking up? I butterfly touch her cheek again, and like a cat seeking affection, she nuzzles her cheek against my fingers. Her eyes flutter, but remain closed. I sense she is swimming towards the surface. I call to her, hoping she will follow my voice back to the real world.

“Come on, Doll, open those beautiful eyes and look at me.”

Her eyes stay shuttered but her voice quiet and confused, whispers out to the air.

“Steven?”

I don’t think I’ve ever heard a word that sounded better than my name gracing her lips.

“I’m here Baby. Open those eyes for me.” I whisper back, worried I’ll hurt her head after Mrs. Forman told me that sound would bother her.

I’m desperate to behold those mismatched eyes. I need to see her alive in that gaze that hypnotizes me on a regular basis. She falls silent again, and I see her start to slip back away.

“Come on Jacks, don’t fall back asleep, let me see you.” I beg quietly.

Almost like she can sense my need for her, she opens her eyes all the way. I see in that sweet stare pain, confusion, and fear. I hate to see her like this, so I seek to quickly comfort her.

“You are okay Jacks. A little banged up, but nothing Mrs. Forman and rest can’t fix up.”

Her hand tightens on mine, and she smiles just a little. I sit on the side of the bed and continue to stroke her hair, and face. Just as before, she leans into it, and her eyes drift closed.

I start to get off the bed with the intent to settle in the chair next to her bed when I feel her grip become tight. I turn to check on her, and she is staring at me with panic.

“Please don’t leave me. Please stay.”

I sit back down on the chair, never letting go of her hand, and kiss her wrist again.

“I’m only changing chairs, I’ll be right here.”

I watch her body relax, and she starts to fall away back to where she’s not in pain, but before she is claimed completely by her body’s need for rest, she whispers softly

“Promise?” Her eyes for a minute sharp and aware

I feel something falling out of my heart, and twist its way towards Jackie. I can physically feel it leaving me, and wrapping around her. The connection I feel between my heart and her tells me an undeniable truth. She is more than just a girl to screw around with. She’s more than a girl I like, she’s more than a high, she’s even more than a girl I love. Jackie Burkart is my everything. She is more than a want or a need. She is coursing through my veins, she is part of who I am.

I can give her little, but I can give her this. I can give what I never intended to give to anyone. I can give her me. In this moment she can’t possibly understand what I mean, but I do and that is what is important

I don’t even blink when I respond, “I promise. I’m not going anywhere.”

Anyone who knows me knows, I never break a promise.


End file.
